Why James Bond Is "That Dude"

While watching this James Bond marathon on Encore, I came to the realization that Agent 007 is in fact "that dude." He is "a man's man" as a good friend of mine liked to say. Now, in list form, I will expound on the British Secret Service Agent's many desirable traits.

1. He bags the baddest of skeezers



I need not go through all of the females that Mr. Bond has plowed, but it is substantial. In every one of Bond's 20+ films, he pounds at least 2 unsuspecting ladies. And he doesn't discriminate either. American, Asian, Russian, Black, no racial creed is safe from the wrath of James Bond's reproductive organ. No one in this day and age has a comparable lineup. Maybe Wilt.

2. Aston Martins



From the classic DB5s and DB7s to the Vanquish and the Vantage, all of these Aston Martin automobiles are beautiful machines. In a couple movies Mr. Bond could be seen in BMWs. These are generally the poorer movies. This is James Bond, on Her Majesty's Secret Service, not Transporter 3. And of course they are never just normal, high-powered automobiles. They come outfitted with the latest technology from Q which leads me to.....

3. Gidgets Gadgets



James Bond always has the latest in technology. His wrist watch contains more technology than thirty Best Buys. Lasers, bomb detonators among other things. His car has missiles, oil slicks, smoke clouds, spikes. Not to mention the rocket packs, sweet scuba gear, space lasers. Every gadget freaks dream.

4. Alcohol



"Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred." Every man should have a go to drink. And a vodka martini is Bond's. If you have never had a martini before, it's basically vodka and olive juice chilled. England's most bad a$$ agent doesn't drink Cosmos. He likes his drinks strong. And he is also well versed in other fine alcoholic beverages, whether it be a Russian Vodka or Don Perignon 58. Such a connoisseur of delicious libations is one to be admired.

5. Witty Sayings After Murking Someone

Thunderball - James shoots a bad guy with a spear: "I guess he got the point"
Goldfinger - James throws a lamp into a tub to electrocute a bad guy: "Shocking. Positively shocking"
License to Kill - James throws a bad guy into a pool filled with piranhas: "Bon appetit"

I could go on...